My baby's a jerk, and other epiphanies.

Mae has 8 teeth. She likes to grind these 8 teeth together in a manner that simultaneously makes my skin crawl and makes me want to jump through the nearest window to escape the sound.

She grinds them, I say "no." She grinds them again, I say "No!". She smiles, then grinds them again. I say "No!" and flick her in the mouth. She cries. We hug. She must think this is the world's worst game, but it's a game we play 3 times a day.

It's the smile that really gets me. The smile that says "let's see how far I can take this before I get smacked in the mouth". Not far, I'm afraid.

I never thought I would have a jerk for a kid. Especially one that's not even a year old yet.

The little jerk is too smart for her own good and LOVES doing things she's not supposed to... like making out with Xbox controllers...

or using a very unstable toy train to climb onto furniture (she did that herself.. she can't even walk yet)

or eating rocks... ("but the recipe called for 3/4ths cup of rocks, mom!")

It's hard to know what the right course of action is, when your kids a jerk. Do I try and speak logically to them and explain that objects with wheels aren't very sturdy? Do I quickly distract them with something else and hope they don't remember they were just trying to strangle themselves with a cord? Or do I continuously smack the rocks out of their hand until they cry? *asking for a friend*

The truth is, all kids are jerks sometimes, and each situation calls for a different creative response. Parenting is an art, not a science. And we just have to to take it one rock at a time.

Seriously though, any ideas on getting your kid to stop maliciously grinding their teeth in your general direction?